


Coffee Apocalypse

by Chainthatbinds (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-09
Updated: 2012-03-09
Packaged: 2017-11-14 22:52:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/520343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Chainthatbinds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two of young, strong-willed lawyers meet on the battlefield of a Starbucks. All the patrons and employees fear for their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coffee Apocalypse

It all started on that fateful day that would go down in history of that Starbucks on the corner of Colorado Boulevard and Los Robles Avenue. Two regulars that most of the baristas agreed should never meet managed to come into the coffee shop at the exact same time. In fact, one was standing in line right behind the other. This didn’t bode well for anyone working. Even some of the other regulars noticed and were either packing their things or buckling down for a clash of egos on an apocalyptic scale.

The first of the two men in crisp, pressed suits reached the counter to order and the whole room went silent. Everyone in the know was holding their breath and everyone who wasn’t was looking around with concern. The anxiety was so thick in the air that it was a wonder that it wasn’t a visible fog cutting off every patron and worker’s ability to see.

The blond with blue eyes gave his usual smile that always managed to teeter on the edge of looking flirtatious and possibly dangerous. “Venti breve chai latte with an extra shot, whipped cream and nutmeg.”

Silence.

Rachel, the barista working the cashier register was the first to exhale. She nodded and started punching in the order into the screen with a smile she was sure her customer didn’t understand. Hopefully, he never would. It seemed like they all had sold the man standing behind this one short. That or he was so busy staring at his blackberry to pay attention to his surroundings. It would be a first but, hey, you have to appreciate the small miracles that come your way, right? She was about to announce how much it would be when he made one last request.

“Actually, can you add both nutmeg and cinnamon?”

A scoff. That’s when it happened. The scoff heard around the Starbucks. It was loud, obnoxious, derisive and full of condescension. Rachel heard it. The other patrons who were reading their newspapers, doing who-knows-what on their laptops or just trying to enjoy their morning coffee heard it. Hell, Anna (Rachel’s coworker who had been looking in the back for a ridiculous amount of time for the hazelnut syrup) had heard it. There was absolutely no way that the man in front of her hadn’t heard him. Of course, there was always the chance that he would be the better man and not say anything.

That slight twitch of his eye said that wasn’t an option.

The man pivoted on the balls of his expensive Italian leather loafers and turned to face the one responsible for making the offending noise. He tilted his head to the side slightly and took in the man. Green eyes, dark hair that’s neat- not his type of neat, this is the neat that says everything about him has to be just so- crisp traditional navy blue suit with a boring tie of the exact same color and no pattern to give it some semblance of life.

The man in front of him was a lawyer. Just not his type of lawyer. Somehow that annoyed him more than the impolite noise he’d made seconds before.

Done with his evaluation, he asked the man, “Is something wrong?”

The jaw clench meant he wasn’t expecting to be called out on it. The fact that the rest of his expression hadn’t faltered in the slightest meant he wasn’t going to just wilt and look away. The smallest of smirks that appeared on his pink lips just a few seconds later meant that no one would be getting any coffee for a little while.

“I was just thinking about how funny it is to hear a grown man order such a thing.”

The tension in the room rose again. This time, the two men who had been oblivious of it before were now completely aware. The blond narrowed his eyes slightly and grinned maliciously. “And let me guess, you’re the one-note macho man stereotype who loves his coffee with nothing in it so it can be bland enough to match his personality?”

The smirk fell from the dark-haired one and there’s a flash of anger that disappears just as quickly as it showed up. “It’s Monday so I’ll have a little bit of sugar in it. Nothing fancy and so incredibly unnecessary that it covers up the taste of the thing I’m actually ordering. What you ordered was basically a milkshake with caffeine in it. All frills and no substance. Like your charming personality.”

Yeah, that did it. The blond took a step forward and clenches both hands into tight fists. “Tell me, self-righteous stranger, what’s your name?”

The other lawyer rolled his shoulders and puffed out his chest slightly. “Why?”

He chuckled darkly and gave a toothy grin. “Because I want the name of the man who I may or not be kicking the ass of.”

The second man tilted his head back and barked out a laugh that basically said ‘not gonna happen.’ His haughtiness was practically radiating off of him. “Michael Cohen, displeased to make your acquaintance. And what’s your name, cocksure man who’s in over his head?”

“Luke Pellegrino.” Michael’s eyebrow twitched. Luke crossed his arms across his chest and tilted his head up. “Oh? You’ve heard of me? Not all that surprising.”

Michael scoffed and felt a wave of victory when he saw the effect it had on his new companion. “I know of a Lucifer Pellegrino. I hear he’s one hell of a shark. He plays dirty, never follows the rules-”

“No one’s ever been able to prove anything.” Luke interjected proudly.

“-and can’t be trusted to actually care about what the law states. He only cares about winning and getting his way.” He lowered his head raised his brow, giving a questioning look. “Are you that Lucifer?”

“No, that’s the other lawyer with a father fucked up enough to name their child such a stupid name.” Luke rolled his eyes. He turned around and gave Rachel a small reprieve by gently tossing his credit card onto the counter for her to scan. The people behind them in line were either too scared to say anything or were contemplating going to the Starbucks a couple blocks down. Or both. He turned around and continued the back-and-forth with the man who was quickly gaining even more of his contempt. “I only go by Lucifer when necessary.” He paused for a second, confused at how casually he gave that piece of information. “Wait, why am I tell you this? What I meant to say is you and your pretentious views of coffee can go screw each other. What I order is none of your business.”

Michael huffed and closed the gap between him and Luke just a little bit more. “You and your extravagant choice in caffeinated desserts that take five minutes to order are definitely my business.”

It was Lucifer’s turn to scoff. “Oh and this oh-so-lovely conversation you’ve started hasn’t wasted even more of your precious time?”

“Gentlemen! Gentlemen!” Both of them turned to find the balding man in a white dress shirt and green apron with his hands up. “I’m not sure what’s going on here but you’re both holding up the line! If you agree to take your battle of the wits outside, your drinks will be on us! Just take it outside! Please!”

Because neither of them could pass up free coffee or admit defeat, they both went outside. The disgruntled manager they later found out to be named Zachariah brought their drinks to them, mumbling how he doesn’t get paid enough for this. There they argue for another fifteen minutes before they had no choice but to go their separate ways due to meetings they would both be late for otherwise. All the people inside the Starbucks and random pedestrians passing by would be grateful for the two of them to never saw each other again.

Unfortunately for them all, destiny had a different plan.

Destiny was really the only one who could be blamed for it. Almost a month later, both of Luke and Michael got out of court within fifteen minutes of each other and had a strong craving for coffee. With both of them being very particular about how they like their drinks, it wasn't a surprise when they ended up going to the Starbucks that they always go to. Honestly, it was more strange that it was only the second time that they'd met in such a way.

When they saw each other walking from opposite ends of the sidewalk towards the door, they both sighed loudly. Neither was much close enough to actually hear it so it served no purpose but to fuel their own melodramatic ways. Luke got to the door first. For half a second, he contemplated holding the door for Michael. He decided to only hold it long enough to make sure it closed in the other lawyer's face when he got close. Because that's the kind of guy he is. And the look on Michael's face was priceless as he did it.

Michael opened the door and sighed, "It's good to know that you actively try to live up to your reputation, Mister Pellegrino."

Lucifer grinned, "Who says I'm trying?"

Michael rolled his eyes, the rest of his face was so serious that Luke was tempted to slap it, just to see if he could change it. Instead, he turned around, pleased to see that there was no line keeping him away from getting his fix.

Rachel was at the register, looking a bit like an animal in fear of being mauled or something and not having a clue in what to do or where to go. It was more than a little amusing to Luke and it showed in the grin lurching onto his face. He definitely had a thing for playing the predator when everyone else willingly decided to play the part of prey. Then there are those other alpha male types who decide to challenge him and manage to leave the confrontation with their tails tucked firmly between their legs. With the exception of Michael, apparently. This one wasn't backing down and, frankly, Luke was intrigued by that. He wanted to take the stick out of Michael's ass and beat him with it.

He was so amused by the mental image of giving the other man blunt force trauma that he'd completely forgot about putting in his coffee order. That is until the man he'd been fantasizing about harming cleared his throat in a very pointed way. It snapped Luke out of his day dream and replaced the dreamy smile with a scowl that made Rachel wither a bit behind the safety of her register screen. Luke rolled his eyes, tossed his credit card onto the counter and muttered, "My usual."

Something like a chuckle came from the man behind Luke. Michael was being smug and it was enough to send tension up through Luke's back and shoulders. That led to the chuckle evolving into full-on laughter.

"Too embarrassed to actually say the whole thing again? Afraid of what I might say this time?"

Luke rolled his eyes and turned around to face his adversary. "I couldn't care less about what you think. If you have anything you want to say, feel free to say it anyway. I'm sure you've thought long and hard about what it is. I wouldn't want to deprive you of the chance to say it. Countering and making you look like a complete idiot might even make me feel a little better."

Michael puffed out his chest and cross his arms. Without his suit jacket on, Luke was able to see the the outline of the large arms through the crisp, white shirt. They were larger than anyone's arms should ever really be, he thought. The more he thought about it, the more he started to correlate this stupid little- well, not so little- man with a peacock. He wasn't intimidating in the slightest bit; he was just very pretty to look at.

Did he really think that? Yeah, he guessed he did.

Michael chimed in only a moment later. "I hate to disappoint you, Mister Pellegrino-"

"Call me Luke like a normal person. We're not in court or some formal proceedings, jackass."

"-but I haven't given you that much thought. I can try to come up with something off the top of my head, if you want, Lucifer." Michael was getting under the other man's skin and was relishing in it. It was practically radiating off of him. The look on Luke's face made it even better for him. "I'm sure it'll be nice and condescending."

"Save your breath and what little wit you have." Luke was getting worked up by some guy he barely knew and hardly respected. This made him even more irritated. "I'd hate to think that you'd waste it all trying to impress me and some poor guy ends up losing his case because you managed to burn out what little talent you have on me."

Michael barked out a laugh. It was a noise that grate Luke in ways that no other sound had ever managed. "I'm sure my case will be fine. That's your unhealthy narcissism rearing it's very ugly head."

"Narcissism. Ugly. Good one."

Michael huffed and did his best to ignore the patronizing compliment. He failed horribly. "Do you have any setting other than sarcasm or is that the only thing you're good at? I'd hate to see that my first impression was wrong about you and you're more 'one-note' than you accused me of being."

Lucifer grit his teeth, grabbed his credit card and stepped to the side (much to Rachel's relief). "Speaking of boring, you should probably order your coffee so you can get out of here and prepare. Lord knows you probably need it. If your ability to litigate is anything like your ability to sling insults, I feel sorry for all your clients and your firm."

Michael sighed and moved past Luke, making a show out of his effort to not accidentally brush against the other lawyer as he moved by him. "You really need to find new material. You've already attempted to insult my skills- skills you haven't seen, by the way."

Luke waited until Michael ordered his big, black cup of coffee before rebutting. "I have, actually."

Michael's hand was halfway out of his back pocket, pulling his wallet with it, when he froze in place. He looked over at Lucifer, confused... and a little concerned. "What?"

Luke could feel all the eyes of the whole coffee shop on him. It made him feel uncomfortable in a way that he'd never really felt uncomfortable before. It probably had something to do with the fact that he'd just admitted to showing some form of interest in the other man. But he is who he is and made sure to not actually show that he was slightly unnerved. He cleared his throat and clarified. "I wanted to see if you were half the man and lawyer you claim yourself to be."

Michael's face blanched but his expression didn’t change. He was running through the cases he'd taken to trial in the three weeks that had passed since the first time he met Lucifer. He'd won all of them, of course. But he couldn't help but wonder which one the other man had sat in on. He also was curious to how he hadn't noticed him but pushed that thought aside. It wouldn't help much.

"Well, uh..." He cleared his throat and tried to regain his usual demeanor. "Well, what'd you think? Learn anything?"

Luke snorted. "Oh, please. I don't think it would be possible for the greatest lawyer of his generation to learn something from the second greatest."

"Second greatest?" Michael raised an eyebrow on instinct. "Did you just call me the second greatest lawyer of our generation?"

Whoops.

Luke snorted, rolled his eyes and waved his hand, trying to blow the accidental compliment away and focus more on the fact that he'd meant only to call Michael inferior to him. "That's not the point of what I said."

"Ah," Michael pointed at him with his wallet, a slight grin tugging at one side of his mouth, "But you said it all the same. That makes it admissible."

"Admissib-" Luke threw his head back and laughed. "Neither of us is in trial right now and we're definitely not the ones being tried. There's no such thing as admissible in this situation."

The laugh seemed to fuel Michael even more. "Really? Then what have we been trying to do for the last couple minutes?"

"We've been..." Luke went quiet for a second, thinking. "I'm not sure." He had no choice but to roll his eyes again when Michael laughed again. "I guess we're just showing off and trying to show our dominance- trying to outdo the other."

"And how is that all that different than what we do when we're on the clock?" More silence. Michael used that time to pay for his drink and accept the cup handed to him. He also casually grabbed Lucifer's order off of the counter and hand it over to the man. He nodded thoughtfully (and Lucifer did the same) before gesturing to all the people in Starbucks. "We definitely have a jury of our peers weighing in on the situation, judging who is the one in the right." All of innocent bystanders lowered their heads when either of the lawyers looked around and made eye contact.

"I guess I can agree to that argument." Lucifer made sure to say the words in a way that would put little emphasis on the fact he was admitting Michael was right. "But do you really want to let them decide which of us won?"

Michael snorted and shook his head. "Definitely not."

Lucifer opened his mouth to say something else but he was cut off by his blackberry ringing, telling him he needed to hurry and get back before the court's recess ended. Michael's own phone started to chirp a second later.

"I tell you what," Lucifer went into his pocket, pulled out a card and proceeded to write out his personal phone number on the back of it, "You call this number when you're ready to continue this. We'll set up something in a place where there isn't an audience."

"So less of litigation and more like settling outside of court?"

Lucifer laughed, "Yeah, something like that." He sipped his coffee and headed for the door. "See you around, Michael."

Michael took a long drink before nodding and followed behind him before turning and heading in the opposite direction when they reached the sidewalk. "You too, Lucifer. I look forward to continuing this little battle of ours."

**Author's Note:**

> http://chainthatbinds.livejournal.com/


End file.
